One of the things we talk about in the emerging church is a move away from the attractional church. And to a certain extent, I get this. The question behind this motivation is often that the attractional model is flawed and missing something. And my wonderings made me ask, “What is the attraction? Is it love, discipleship, community, grace? Or is it something else?”
Recently I’ve been in some interesting conversations with a few friends about church in general. Part of these conversations included what attracts us to church. And today when I got the mail, I got one of those flyers for a new church in the area. It was advertising the specific attributes of the church. You know the stuff. It had a contemporary service AND a traditional service. It had a killer kids program with games and crafts. It had a picture of the most beautiful family in the world, with all of their life problems solve. Joy abounded. I’m actually not knocking any of these tactics. To a certain extent they work and are trying to communicate what we hope happens in church.
So my question is, “What draws you to church?” Do these things work for you or is it something else? And if so, what is it?
We are in the process of planting a church in the Colorado Springs area so this is a question I am asking myself a lot lately… what I gather it comes down to is RELATIONSHIP. If there are relationships in place, people will overlook a lot! They may not like the music, but they stay because of friends, they may not like the youth dept, but if their kids have friends there they will stay… they may not even like the preaching, but if they have friends they will stay! Gallup Management Journal put out an article once here is what it said…
Friendship Boosts Church Attendance
The “best friend” factor is the tie that binds many people to their current congregation. Aside from family members, 39% of respondents said their “best friend” attends the same church, in a survey conducted by the Gallup Organization for Group. Gallup points to the impact in several areas:
• Community life: The best friends in the same congregation attend more regularly than the loners, 72% at least once a week compared to 51% whose best friend attends a different church.
• Belonging: Best friends in the same church feel more connected to the congregation (84% to 71%) and feel like the leaders care for them (82% to 67%).
• Faith: Best friends in the same church feel closer to God and display a more integrated faith. They are more likely to worship and pray daily (69% to 51%) and say their faith is involved in all of life (74% to 54%).
So I think community, belonging, and relationships are one of the most important parts of drawing people to church… our church better be friendly if we want to draw people to them.
Graham, no worries on the length. That was some good stuff you provided. I think it is significant what Gallup found. Relationship is central to the body. So how does God fit into that relationship? I know Gallup is studying simply what is but how do we create an organization that flourishes in relationship with the trinity?
There seems to be this important relationship between how much we love and how much God appears to show up.
Yeah, you are right… so the question becomes “how do we get people to love others?” Is it through exposure to others, education, compassion, creating environments that foster connections? Or is it just something that happens as people find others they connect with? If that is the case then how do we need to build our churches so that our people spend time with “outsiders”, developing connection and relationship with them? We for sure need to stop having a ton of things for our people to “do”, and instead encourage them to get out into the surrounding communities…
what if we encouraged small groups to meet in Chili’s, or the library, or ___?___ just for the purpose of meeting people… what if our church budget included money to start party groups – when we invite people in our neighborhoods or offices, or schools to bbq’s or dinner parties? What about super bowl events and such… If we gave money to small group leaders to start these kinds of relationships, then after friendships are formed we may have better results filling our churches with people that really need to hear about Jesus.
There’s very little that attracts me to church, and I’m a Jesus follower. So I can only imagine how little others are attracted to church.
That said, I think what attracts people to each other in general are meaningful relationships. But I think if we wait for people to be attracted to a building then we will wait till we die with no success for an overwhelming amount of the population.
For me, this is why the Great Commission is about Going rather than Attracting.
How about God being the thing that’s attractive?
Raquel, I get that but the flyer that came did not have God mentioned anywhere on it. Hmmm.
There are a lot of needs in the world. A place that helps find solutions to those needs is very attractive. As Jesus walked around the countryside He had a lot of followers that were looking for stuff – the stuff He did rather than just Him. He still healed them and fed them. The church (the world) is made up of these people as well, so we try to meet spiritual needs (helping people to grow and become more Christlike) at the same time as meeting other needs (physical and relational and emotional).
I also believe that relationship is the key to church. A church (body) truly grows through its members leading missional lives, having an impact on their neighbours and friendships. The Great Commission is, “As you are going into all the world, DISCIPLE by baptizing and teaching to obey…” Discipleship is rooted in a relationship. We are disciples of Jesus, and we are to disciple others who in turn can reach others (2 Timothy 2:2). Programs, flyers, buildings, money, etc are all just tools to being used of God to help people find freedom and new life in Jesus. It is spitit led, loving people that are attractive in a church.
Lots of things attract me to church – i guess partly just going to church is one of the most radical subversive activities i could do – it takes up my valuable time, it inconveniences me no end, i have to cough up cash, serve others and not get my way most of the time over most things – it is one of the great antidotes to me first living that i know…
As for the attractional model, well being a parent kids work is important to me and my kids, i know in the States the stats are different but here in London where i live maybe 1% of the population is connected to church. The chances of my kids meeting other christian kids outside of church context are pretty small. I think it is vital for my kids to get to hang out and grow in their faith with other christian kids, 99% of their friendships will be out of that circle but i still want them to have that opportunity to share their faith and life with people who are asking similar questions and where they can encourage each other.
And heh since it is sunday morning coffee is essential – as long as its got caffeine in it i don’t really care about the quality…
Just remembered a comment from a new member to our church… After a lot of battles she came up with the wonderful revelation “it’s not the “perfect” club is it!”
It was a place where it was safe to struggle & have problems. A place for misfits & oddities.
Perhaps a place where it’s safe to be real?