Have you ever felt like that? It’s this resistance to anything new. Where does that come from?
Over the past year I have been working on a book entitled, Come Follow Me, Moving Beyond Conventional Religion To Following Jesus. I actually finished the book last March and had a publisher who was interested. But in the process of the whole experience it did not happen. I wasn’t upset with the rejection. I chose to assume it was just not the right time. And the comments the editor provided me were really good comments. I had to sit with them for a while but believe they were good comments, even if I didn’t like them at first. To be honest, I did really want it to fly though.
But God had other plans.
I sat with the book for about three months, letting it sit in my database. Over the last month I’ve been wrestling with making significant changes to the book. I’ve added a lot here, move stuff there and even took out stuff that I thought was so cool and everybody would want to read. It’s that darn writers ego. And all through this process, I was observing my resistance to change. It was hard cutting stuff. I wanted it do be done now, damn it.
And then I began to rewrite, move, change, and delete. And the process feels painfully slow. Each edit feels strangely like walking into the wilderness. What am I doing? Will my book become a mess instead of a message? Will I screw it up, this thing I feel charged to do?
And then I began to realize that my book experience was almost a metaphor for much of my journey into trust with God. It’s played out in this journey through the emerging church and life in general. I’m wondering if I’m gonna screw it up. And this is the journey. Not will we get it right, but will we trust? Faith requires stepping out in trust that we won’t screw it up, that God really will show up through us.
What surprised me today is that my book is coming together. I like it better. I like the changes I’ve made and I think its a better book. But I couldn’t have gotten here unless I was willing to change it.
BTW, if anyone knows a good agent or publisher, I’m still looking.
Missio Dei 